Me story in the Beginning.

Ok.

A story.

From me.

Well you asked for it. Prepare yourselves!

We start with a nut....

Yes a Nut.

This nut is very loose on the tree and it decides to finally fall off. It starts to fall and at this point the nut is thinking “AGGGHH!!! Someone catch me!! Help aggghh!!! This nut falls on the ground. The ground is a part of a town close to were a once great place existed next to a hill which was close to a sea which was close to another continent which was part of another country which was close to another city which is were our story takes place and in this country lived a short fat boy about ten years old. He liked to play games by himself for himself in his room by the stairs all alone. He had no friends because no one thought him to be a good sportsman and he wasn’t. he would cheat, lie and hack his way to victory. He would rather take out his own digestive system and hang himself with it then lose a game.

Anyway. We see him now yes right now on a Wednesday morning on January the 6 at 8:30 Am sitting by himself with no one around playing a game of battle ship in his room all alone. The game Battleship is a guessing game played by two people. Although popularized as a commercial board game, first published in 1931 by the Starex Novelty Company of New York under the name of "Salvo", it is known throughout the world as a pencil and paper game and predates the First World War in this form. It was published by Milton Bradley Company in 1943 as the pad-and-pencil game "Broadsides, the Game of Naval Strategy". The game is played on four square grids, two for each player. The grids are typically square - often 10×10 - and the individual squares in the grid are identified by letter and number. On one grid the player arranges his own ships and records the shots by the opponent. On the other grid, the player records his own shots. Before play begins, each player arranges a number of ships secretly on the grid for that player. Each ship occupies a number of consecutive squares on the grid, arranged either horizontally or vertically. The number of squares for each ship is determined by the type of the ship. The ships cannot overlap (at most one ship can occupy any given square in the grid). The types and numbers of ships allowed are the same for each player. These may vary depending on the rules. If a player Wait, wait, wait! why am I telling you this? What was I thinking? Wait you probably want to get back to the story. Ok he was playing by himself. “Ha I sunk your carrier!” he would cry giving a leap of victory. “No! how did you know where it was?” he would say. “I’m just really good at this game. I have psychic abilities. this game gives me a buzz, a reason to keep winning and never lose! Ha Ha Ha! Victory is mine!” he was so proud of beating himself at Battle ship he decided to give a party for himself by himself in his room all alone. There were balloons and glitter and party hats and music and cereal and poetry and celery and peanuts and poultry and sandwiches and chilly with Oreos in it and donuts and tables and chairs cups and plates forks, spoons, knives. And his guests were: himself, his teddy bear, his broom, mop, bucket and dustpan, two cardboard cutouts of himself his goldfishes Larry, Billy, Bob, Joe, Andrew. Steven, Darcy, Fred, Jerald and Pinkdaloola, and his coin collection. *Takes deep breath* Wow. I think I named them all. Yep I’m pretty sure that’s everyone.

Anywho! Wait you don’t know his name! how did I do that? His name is:

*Drum role*

Duren-daldorf-alomu-greg-dedfrangol-inadob-lib-lob-onghem-lifgrot-loj-kim-
deedidlydoo the fourth...

Please don’t make fun of is name it is true. Since his name is so short we shall call him Duren for long. Wait! Strike that reverse it. There we go. He enjoyed talking to himself because he is the only person he agrees with. ”oh the weather outside is wonderful” this last statement was false besides he did not know that it was raining outside because his room had no window. “yes the sun is remarkable” he said to himself sitting in another chair. “I love how you have your hair done” “why thank you it is the latest fashion” “if only I can get hair like that” this was also strange he had the same hair as himself but he didn’t notice it. Now is that a strange thought or what? Anyway. He started small talk and when he was tired of it which didn’t take very long he decided to start talking about politics. “if you were old enough to vote who would you vote for?” he asked himself. “oh but I am old enough to vote” this was strange in three ways. One he was not older then himself nether old enough to vote ,and two, politics did not work that way were he was from. it worked like this:

First a group of random people both stout and thin (usually stout would outweigh the thin) would be selected from a group of random houses from the city of there country. Then they would be divided into two groups but they have to be completely even. So if one had longer hair the rest of the group would ether wait to grow out theirs and trim the one who already had long hair or they would shave everyone’s hair off and so forth. Then they would role dice to see who would play first. Who ever wins the larger number would play first. They would play riddle games and fist fight and see who was the most acrobatic and they would have a spelling bee and a vocabulary test on the theory of Insectoreps. A Insectorep is a cross between a Reptile and an Insect. They grow up to the same size as a full grown human and communicate with clicks and raspberry sounds and banging against things. Insectoreps also… Wait why am I telling you this? Insectoreps are beside the point! When they get done with the vocabulary they draw straws and whoever gets the short straw is the next elected king.

Duren talked to himself about politics, triangles, how good he was at winning, frogs, his favorite subject in school, why he likes to win all the time, greenhouses, why losing is such an awful thing.. And other things children talk about often. He was getting really bored and I’m sure you are trying to stay awake at this point and kinda get the picture of what kind of person we are dealing with. Now to actually start the events that take place with this boy we will start from the beginning of the end of his glorious party he threw for himself.

He was done with talking and had a rather exhausted mouth when he heard a knock at the door. Knock! Literally a knock at the door. He opened the door and the knock was really tall with a strange hair do. He looked over the head of the boy and said “Oh he must not be here.” said the Knock. The boy waved his hands gesturing toward the Knock with everything he thought of. The Knock just looked around calling his long name he had to read off a piece of paper. Duren-daldorf-alomu-greg-dedfrangol-inadob-lib-lob-onghem-lifgrot-loj-kim-deedidlydoo the fourth... I have a present for you. Then Duren had an Idea. He decided to say “I’m down here” for a boy he was rather stupid. As are most boys. The Knock looked down and said “Oh! There you are here you go” he handed over a big box. Duren held it and looked at the return address but before he could see what it said the letters vividly disappeared. The knock bowed. successfully banging is head against the door. He grabbed his forehead and said “Good day” with tears in his eyes and a ruffled voice. Duren slammed the door which he often did. He threw the box open and behold!!! there was a board game called. “The game for you Tillyoo!!! Duren was puzzled why would someone send him a board game. He opened the board game box and looked at the paper inside. He read the rules and they read:

RULES: Exerting from library eight, Book five hundred forty five, chapter 11, paragraph eight, section two, line twenty three, subsection A, sub/sub section Gama…

“This game includes one player. It has all kinds of adventures and surprises and nonsense awaiting for you. This can’t be the rules this is outrageous!”

And that is exactly what the rules said word for word. It was a very simply made game. Just a foldable board with no pictures. Just white. Even the game piece was white. He picked it up and looked at it. He said “stupid! Is this a joke!” then he noticed that the piece was changing color. It changed to turquoise his favorite color. “how did it know that this was my favorite color?” he was astound. He then looked at the board to see that a patch had just appeared on it from nowhere. It was a small red circle and on top of it with multicolored letters spelt START. He looked at the board and then to the game piece which had changed it’s shape. It was the same shape as he. Short Fat. He took the piece and put it on the start circle and suddenly with out a flash or anything!!!


Nothing happened. He was still in the room. “Hello welcome” he heard a voice coming from outside his room. He opened a window that wasn’t there before and looked out. The world around him was not the world he use to be in. “Hello welcome” said the same voice. “Hello welcome” Duren was thinking right now which was something he did not do often. He thought “who said that?” “Hello welcome” “what is wrong with the guy who is saying that?” “Hello welcome” wow this guy must be pretty dumb!” “Hello welcome” AGGHH!!! “Hello welcome” “stop!” “Hello welcome” “you are with out a doubt the stupidest most annoying person in the history of the world!” and then there was silence.

The person who was talking revealed himself. This person looked and even smelt the same as Duren “Hello welcome” Duren gave a stair and was very disappointed. With that the other Duren disappeared and behind the real Duren another voice came. “so you have learned haven’t you.” said the Knock who had delivered the package. “what where am I? this is an outrage!” said Duren very offended noticing that his room had disappeared and the only thing left of his room was the board game with piece intact. “you are here.” replied the Knock. “where is here?” asked Duren “here is where you are.” answered the Knock. “What?” and then the knock said “you have learned what you are. you yourself actually admitted that you are with out a doubt the stupidest most annoying person in the history of the world! now through the time you are here you will learn a great many other things. good luck and have a nice day.” and the Knock disappeared. Duren sat down and cried. He had lost. Again he had been beaten by himself.

Ok that was allot to put together so let me take a REST and I’ll write the REST soon.

~Render Moonarrow~